Dear ADHD,

My editor says I should blog about you. I don’t think you deserve one so I am writing you a letter of dismissal. You are fired! I have had it with your impulsive behaviour which gets me in trouble on a daily basis.

I have reviewed with you several times how disconnected your thoughts are and how you force me- by taking my brain hostage to forget what I am doing, where I am going and …. there is something else but, I forget. Do you remember when I took ginseng to improve memory? I found the bottle years later and it was expired so I had to throw it away- I think I forgot to take it- or maybe I lost the bottle. Whatever! You can’t win all time! You have been living with me my entire life and even though people have been telling me to “evict” you with encouraging words like “Stop it! Get your shit together! What’s wrong with you ?  Who’s in charge anyway? Try harder? Are you that dumb?”  I’m sick of people telling me to try harder, focus and pay attention. I get sick of you interrupting my train of thought every time I have to wiggle- and I wiggle a lot! More than my share… no one wants to sit next to me in church, the movies or meetings. It is lonely sometimes and although you can be very entertaining, I need more than you! I need you to be more sensitive to the fact that you can live with me and not need to be in charge all the time! You are a control freak! You are lucky I am not more scarred from my childhood school days. How many times to you think I could stand to hear “what’s wrong with Alex J? Why can’t you read yet? Try harder! Look harder (still confused about that- not sure what looking harder means but apparently it helps a 7 year old read better…) I am done with you. You are supposed to be a gift to me- something special that makes me creative but you are too exhausting for me to keep around any longer. Good bye forever! I was just thinking that I should do a post about ADHD… or maybe something else but I forget where I was going with this…

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