It is Sunday morning- Palm Sunday to be exact. Easter is next weekend and I love Easter more than any other time of year. I slept in today an hour past my usual wake up time during the work week and made my way to the kitchen to take my medication, eat something but more importantly for me… take that first sip of Diet Coke.
I do not drink coffee, tea or juice. I can’t drink milk- nothing says good morning like my first sip of diet coke! I stand at my counter and look out the window like I do every morning and out of the corner of my eye I saw a Christmas decoration over the door in our living room. I think it is called a ‘swag’ and it curves just over the door frame. It was clearly forgotten from months ago. I put up the decorations and take them down- Leo helps sometimes but, it could take him hours to put up a Nativity set as he analyzes how it was made, the symbolism behind it, if it accurately portrays the significance of Jesus being born. He may inspect it for cracks and then ask me where I want it placed. I usually tell him and he protests… saying “why do we have to put it there? I want it here, you always get to pick.” I will give in and tell him to put it where he wants knowing full well he will become distracted and never quite finish setting it up. I usually get to place it where I want. There it was… the swag. Forgotten and as I stood sipping my Diet Coke, I thought ‘it can just stay there, it has been there for months and it is not hurting anything, I would have to get a chair to reach it and take it down then put it away…’I walked away and went to get ready for church. The irony of this popped into my head while I was showering, how many times have I walked away from something that had been that way for too long and just kept going? Why do I keep walking away? It is easier, but not right. If I have the ability to change something- then I should even if it is not convenient for me at that moment. My forgotten Christmas Decoration was like people I see. It was like me and it was like corners in my soul that I have looked at and knew I needed to pay attention to but chose to turn away convincing myself I would pay attention to it later and it had been that way for a long time and it wasn’t hurting anything staying that way. But, it is hurting something. Every time I ignore something within that needs attention, I hurt me a little and I deserve better than that- especially from myself. I walked over to the Christmas decoration over my door and dragged a chair closer and took it down. Today I begin- today I say “This is not ok” – today I pay attention to me.