We are all the same

We are all the same

I sat in a women’s group that focused on recovery. Recovery from anything really… addictions, abuse, bad relationships, shopping, eating, cleaning and the list goes on. The list is long with things we hide behind, things we have convinced ourselves are necessary to fill a void, things that make us feel better, prettier, smarter, worth more, valued… and sometimes the list isn’t so nice, it is not to make us feel better but rather, to make us feel like we are less. Like the world never lied to us and we are just as worthless as society and the people we hang out with invite us to believe- and we go willingly. Eventually, no matter which list we follow, this becomes our belief system until we interrupt it. And so, I sat with a dozen other women in a room with couches and chairs made to look like a living room. I sat with women who were of every age and walk of life. I sat, I listened, I talked…I listened some more to the underpinning themes we all had.  I realized in that moment – that moment that may have never happened if I had listened to my own brain lie to me that I didn’t need to be there. I wouldn’t fit in, I wasn’t needed and what would I say that would make a difference anyway? I went anyway, even though my stomach hurt which is my brain’s way of telling me I am making a stupid choice. It is anxiety lying to me, telling me I will not be OK and that I should run and hide. I am learning that I don’t always have to run and hide just because my anxiety says to. Sometimes it is fooling me.  I noticed that we were all the same.  We were women, strong at the core, but broken on the outside. Stable of heart, with cracks on our souls. Women striving to make our own lives better so we could be better. Working toward the light of knowing we all have value, that we have been lied to or hurt. We were learning to set boundaries and learning to understand that we teach people how to treat us. We project out our feelings and if we feel worthless or insecure that is projected and people treat us as if we were worthless and insecure.  I wondered why we do this?I wondered if every woman or young girl did this?  I thought maybe we all do, maybe we believe all of the pictures we see of perfect people, we believe in the tag on those jeans that has a size written on it and which we place value on. We believe too much from too many- we believe so many other things we begin to doubt what we believe.  We tell ourselves that we are lying when we say we are pretty, smart, athletic, good enough, but we are. We are all of those things and more, we are capable. We are women. We are all the same.

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